I have showered.

Ok, where was I. Oh yes, conflicts and more conflicts. So, if there so much conflicts why do people do still do it? Marriage is a social construct. It is constructed by people, by society, and some may argue, so is religion and thus it can be deconstructed. Look at those couple cohabitating. What do they care about marriage and religion (maybe some do...). And because of this conflict theory, administrators of the state decided against having conflicts and marriage and religion and have the state the sole reason as to why people work. Thus, they work for the state, because they belong to the state and the state does not exploit them because, they work for the needs of the state and since they belong to the state, they work for themselves. Get it? Try googling Khmer Rouge and Communist. But who am I argue, I just questions.

There is another theory that supports the reasons as to why we do things the way we do. This is called the developmental theory. This theory suggests that it is only natural that we do things the way we do, simply because thats is how it has been done. We are born, we study, we work, we get married, we reproduce, we take care of our elders (optional to many, I know), and we die. Its just natural. So based on this theory, its natural to learn as much as we could, earn as much as we could, (try to resolve any conflicts along the way) and then reproduced and retired. That sounds so much like the mantra of a political party I know but hey, I just question.

There are other theories that may support why we do things the way we do such as the symbolic exchange theory which I can use to elaborate on why marriage break up...(Oh! the sanctity of marriage) but then questioned I did.

I did ask a few of my women friends (all of them are married by the way so no, its not one of those after sex conversations you see on tv) as to why they strove to achieved the academic qualifications that the implications of the positions in the work place. Based on the conflict theory, and the researches done by Ms Quah, these women should be cursing and swearing at their fate in life. They should be ranting, not like me but more, about the stress they feel in juggling two shoes (or hats) during the same 24 hours we all have. According to one of them, instead of ranting, she is grateful to what she has become. She said that she sees the value in paper qualifications as she is now is in a better position to make decisions for her family of 6. Perhaps, this is a better way of bringing up a family as compared to how she was brought up, but nevertheless, an exchange has occurred. What exchange? Part of the time she can use to spend time with her children is used for work and that that time is exchange for a better position that enable her to make better decisions. This exchange between quantity and quality must be in her favour as she is constantly doing it. The exchange theory states that there must be exchange of two things that enables one to still be in that relationship. Money for sex, friendship for companionship etc etc. Nevertheless, there is still conflict.

Its early

I mean, it can be 5 am for all I care, 0834 hrs is still early. I am not grumbling mind you, I am beyond grumbling. I am ranting! Anyway, come to think about it, I don't have much to rant. It was a good drive to and from Su's working place. I had a good night's sleep and I think Su did too. Sun is out and it is kind of warm. Typing this on my mac mini, and sitting on the platform in front, really is cool, abit warm and way too early, still.

I am a sociology minor right, and I am exposed to these many theories about why things are (socially) the way they are. There is this guy, Webber something, said that there are conflicts in wherever we go. According to him, it is because of our own needs and the needs of others. These needs are conflicting and thus therein lies the conflict. For example, if you are working in a company (I mean who doesn't), your needs are to earn as much money with as little effort as you can right? There are those who wanted satisfaction blah blah, but this is not about them, yet. But the company you work for has its needs to0. For one, they want the most results with as little cost to them. Thus according to Mr W, working for a company is a case of exploitation. Now, to me this all makes sense. There are times when I do feel like I am being exploited but I guess, I joined the company with my eyes wide open, and even though I feel like I am being exploited, I chose to remain. Silly I know, but sometimes its good to feel needed.

This theory of conflict now extends to marriage. Think about it, why do many people get married? Love? Companionship? Material security? These are valid reasons. Its true, but what they don't mention is why the other party, their spouses, get married to them. The spouses' reasons can be as valid as the people you talked to but most often than not, they are different, as different as being man and woman. These is where conflicts arises. And in some instances, the failures to resolve these conflicts leads to stress, and these 'stresses' if they become unmanageable, could result in the break up of the marriage, and in worst case (in my opinions anyway) the break up of a family.

So, with the two examples, one can see where I am going at. The tricky part is when you combine two source of conflicts and begin to wonder, why the hell we do it. Let me choose two areas of conflict, the company or the workplace and marriage or at home. Seeing it already? No? Ok, lets continue. OT abit, the light outside is very nice. I think I will go and take some pictures first. Ok, did that it shows the view from my room. Hey! I did not say I want to go outside!

Okok, where was I. Oh yes, conflicts in the workplace and at home. Now I can talk about men and women, but I need to go to JB to top up my petrol soon, so I will discuss about women. Now there is this lady, Stella Quah, who did some some research and stated that women, nowadays strive for better material gains and higher academic achievements. All is fine and dandy until the day they decide to settle down. Hey! We all have only 24 hours everyday, and a 9-5 working schedule has become a myth. To stay on top (not sexually speaking, but its nice ((I am a guy, mind you)) seriously), in other words to climb that social ladder and or even to have job security so as to hold on to that well paying jobs as a result of the academic achievements, its has become of a 8-11 kind of a thing. So, in this case, the needs of the women would then seemed to be the working careers. So what happened when they get married. Many, who do get married would make time for the family. But many still would not quit their jobs. I mean, who don't want a 5 figure salary, every month. So logically, time would then be split between work and at home. Those who have children are in a worse predicament!. I read about a dual role theory where women, in coping with the needs of the home and office starts to think liberatively but act conservatively. But thats another point and another paragraph. So, my question is, why do women do it! Many a times, it is their parents who encourage their children to strive for higher educational achievements and increasing their social status by earning a higher income than they themselves. Thus, if one were to have higher educational qualifications and in turn have a high rate of income, presumably, one would have to spend more time in the office and less time at home, thus logically, one would have lesser time with the family and in turn, parent child relationship would then diminished, quality wise. Got it? Thus, not only is there conflict between the women and the company they work for, but between the roles they have to play at home, between being a manager and a wife and or a mother.

O.k, will continue after I shower.

Did not go to class today either!

So there! I did not go to class today. What I did was to read, a n d email some questions to some of my friends. And only 1 replied. Oh well. You will know your truest friends from those who email you, er not email you back!...

You know, I really need to brush up on my talking skills. No, not the physical, actual part but the words that come out from those physical parts. I am suppose to do an assignment on how material and education attainment would have made women (yes, women) less a mother than she should be ( I did not make this up!). I guess, they exclude men, because men would have made sucky (read: iphone 4s) parents, whether or not they are dumb or clever, earn big money or otherwise. But I beg to differ! I think women (well, those er, that I know of) have made it a point to strike a balance between climbing the corporate ladder and bringing up the kids (hubby included).

Talk about this later. Need to shower. Smelling like a er, guy who has not showered!.

Slim

Not going to class today!

I have decided. I am not going to class today. I don't want to feel frustrated for 3 hours today. Thus, I will do my own readings and come up with questions to email the tutor.

So, I have started reading actually. Its a book by Stella R. Quah entitled Families in Asia, Home and Kin. I'll keep you updated.

The magic school bus

I have managed to download the entire series of the magic school bus. I find the series both educational and fun and so does Adam. Now he can view each and every episode on his ipad and his computer. I think this is great! Oh, Apple has introduced a newer version of the iphone 4 and it is called iphone 4s. The 's' stands for sucks! They should call it the iSUCK. Although it has a faster processor and what not, it does not dazzle as much. I have a theory, and I think it is because the engineers has hit rock bottom in terms of getting into the tunnel of ideas. Seriously, who cares about the chip, its the cool factor inside that matters.

That's me
Slim.

Downloading

I am into torrenting for the past few days. I know its not right and some, ok, most, will say that its illegal. But it is exciting. Currently I am downloading The Magic School Bus series and it will a bit more than 24 hours to get it all in. Actually, I am more excited with the technology. As of right now, I can play .avi files on Adam's Ipad. Is that not great. I am not limited to just watching .mp4 movies. I can just download the movies, and transfer them to the Ipad through dragging the necessary files. Thus, if I ever want to get an ipad, I would now get the 64gb ones.

Other than that, not much has happened since I last logged in. Hmm, well, I have restarted to frequent JB now to fill my Trajet with petrol. Its a nice feeling, still, after all this time, to be able to go in and out of another country. I have calculated and I would be saving about S$30 per trip. That will be $60 per week or $240 per month. Not much, I know, but the savings do pile up, and I can do much more than just pump petrol. I went shopping.

Still on the subject of torrenting, I have taught my dad and sister how to do it. I guess, there is one thing more for them to do. Ha ha.

Change subject...separation is not good. It could be a better option in the end for either or both parties but however, you look at it, its not good. Its one of those that is the opposite of a "good to have thing". And it gets worse if you blab it all out on facebook.

Sheesh!

Slim