Tuition

I am giving tuition now but i am feeling so sleepy.

I was reading my past posts when i realised there are many spelling errors. Yes, those posts were written by me but they were typed using my samsung galaxy s. No spell check and the keys are so small.
Psle is next week and i have students who are taking the exams. I wish them the best of luck.

slim

My Day

Its a tiring day. But I managed to get a few things settled. Firstly, I managed to send Su to school without blowing my top off. The rest of the day until now 3.30pm, was good. Simply because I could walked. Boy did I walked!

1. Sent Su to school.

2. Walk from car park to house.

3. Walk from house to car park.

4. Park the car at Tampines St 21, and walked to the restaurant to have breakfast with my daddy. Had Nasi Sambal Goreng.

5. Went with daddy to Toyomi service centre to collect vacuum cleaner. 

6. Went to Geylang Market and walked from car to chicken stall. Bought chickens, 3 of them actually all for $10.00. Bought minced chicken meat $2 worth and about 2kg of chicken wings. Left the fish to daddy.

7. Walked back to the car.

8. Went back to punggol and let Risa handle the market stuffs.

9. Went to Tampines and waited for daddy to get the death cert from his home. Waited at the car.

10. Parked the car at abacus building and walked to CPF building in Tampines. Informed CPF about the passing of my mother and they will do the necessary.

11. Walked to HDB branch office and waited to lodge a report about the demise of my mother. Waited for half an hour and gave up. 

12. Walked to Tampines One to have my daddy looked for non existent food centre and ended up buying a 4GB micro SD card for less than $19.00.

13. Drove to Simpang Bedok and had lunch with Tini and Wawa and Wawa's friend.

14. Dad went home with Tini and here I am.

15. Feet a little sore.

16. Oh before I make my way home, I went to Courts megamall and bought two packs of Selphy photo paper.

Adam's teacher called me and we clarified on certain matters relating to his trip to Hong Kong. Yup! He is going to Hong Kong. He is all grown up now! All 8 years of him. Sigh....

Nor Salman Mohd Sumantry 'Slim'

qathirah@yahoo.com.sg

Otw

On the way back. Cannot find my photo paper.

I did not know it could be so windy in the train.

It was drizzling abit on the way back to the station and apart from the spicy temptation emanating from all of them indian food stalls, my journey on the way back home has started.

slim

Train

I cannot believe it. I am on a train heading to mustafa. I am listening to mp3 on my galaxy s and this rocks.
Its not the train ride, its not the mp3s, its the fact that i am able to.

Its like, look ma, i am walking! This is awesome. Its not like i have not done this before but this time i am painless. Well, not really painless, my waist has expanded and the belt is itching my skin.

Its now 1.41pm and i have just reached buangkok. Since i left at 1.15, it takes.me half an hour to reach buangkok station. About the same time taken if i were to drive.

Scanning, scanning

Hmm, not many girls to look at. Lots if youngsters, poly age.

Ok  just passed hougang. Its 1.44pm.

Anyway, need to buy photo paper, photo album and a ladle if i can find it.

slim

Walk

I went for a walk today. It felt good. Twice in so many days! Walked with su and i think it was 1.2km one way.
It really felt good. Do not know if i had lose weight but i felt so energetic.
On another note, arsenal lost to sunderland yesterday. Whats up with that!

Slim

slim

Adam and Wawa

This was taken using the nex 5.

They have grown haven't they. Time sure flies. I was looking through the photo albums the other day and as usual, tears would follow laughter. I hope I will remember all the moments.

Anyway, that is Adam and Wawa striking a pose after cycling for a few rounds. I can see that they are very close. I hope they will be like that all through the years.

Slim

atuk and adam checking perut

My dad and my son.

Starfruits

Took this using the nex 5 and the 18-55mm kits lens that comes with it.

These are starfruits, testament to my dad's ability as a HDB gardener. These are grown in pots, in the common corridor of our HDB flat, actually his but that is just a technicality.

He does grow other plants such as jambu batu, chiku and kedondong. I don't know what their English names are.

He planted a lime tree in my common corridor just now. He bought satay, which we had for dinner and he accompanied my son and niece cycling. I managed to record some "atuk" moment.

He seemed to be coping with my mother's death reasonably well. He spoke about finding a job to occupy his time. He still sleeps with the lights on though.

Slim.

Tired

Just came back from having breakfast at kfc. This is as adam, su, irsyad and wan completed the posb kids run.

Going to yishun safra later. There is a timbaland warehouse sale. I hope its worth it.

slim

Bic of soda

I have just drank a glass of rose flavoured bic of soda. Su said that it should help with my gout pain.
I have pain in my right hand now and i won't be taking any painkillers.
Updates tomorrow then.

slim

Lunch

I am alone. Risa is fasting. Su is at work. Adam is in school and dad should be at jb doing his friday prayers.
I will be trying to pray standing up today. If i succeed, i can do my friday prayers again.

slim

Posb. Kids. Run.

Adam will be participating in the kids run thus Sunday. Suntec will be the accompanying adult. They have been running for the past two nights. Short distances nevertheless it should warm up their muscle memory.

slim

A day after

My mom had a successful burial. We had a tahlil session just now. I am still sad and I burst into tears suddenly. At Tampines now to spend the night.

Slim.

Mom-Ed

My mak has passed. Oh Allah, have mercy on her. Forgive her of all sins. Love her as she has love her children, protect her as she has protect her children. For you are the all knowing, all merciful and it's to you that I pray.

Amin.

Slim.

Sept 6 9.49am

Just had a talk with the cancer daughter. Told her that my mom dozes of almost immediately after taking morphine. She will review the dosage.

I could not take it yesterday night. I went and had coffee thinking it would help to keep me awake. Wishful thinking.

Went to the car and tried to sleep in the car. My finger tips began to tingle. Made up my mind and drove off home.

Mom is more alert now than yesterday night. Although she is not eating.
But fortunately, she has a new found liking to the liquid supplement that we have been trying to give her.

Cina was here earlier than me but has now left. She has a viewing to see to.
Slim.

5th September 9.54pm

I am now at nuh. With mak at the side. She seemed calmer now but I don't know if it's because of the medication. According to isyak, my cousin, she was given morphine.

She is still breathing through her mouth and I think she will be calm throughout the night. The nurses had turned her and I could distinctly heard that she said "ouch". One of the very few words that I could distinctly make out out of her recently.

A different set of nurses is taking care of the ward today. I don't know the staff nurse's name though.

Having a meeting with the radiotherapy doctors tomorrow at 8.30am. Dad does not want to be in any meeting and he said that whatever the doctors want to do with Mak, go ahead.

I am glad that he left for home today. Unlike yesterday when he slept in the car through the rain and all.

That just leaves me. What shall I do? It's only 10.01pm. I don't want to leave but I need something to do. I wish Su was here. At least I would have somebody to talk to. She wanted to join me later but I told her to stay at home, seeing how tired she was today.

Slim.

Update from cina 1234 5th sep 2011

"For lunch she took only 2 spoonfuls. Then ask me to go home and bring her clothes cuz she wants to go home. Now sleeping after i gave her some milk."

Ya Allah.

Slim.

Update at 11.54pm 4 sept 2010

Update.
Dialysis successful.
Drainage of lungs successful. Less liquid is seen at the lungs.
Blood test showed an increase in heart or blood enzymes. Indicative of heart problems. Further test will be done later at 5 am.
She can swallow. But need to feed her slowly and lift her bed higher. If not she might choke.

End.

Slim.

Sleeping

Mak seems to be sleeping. She is breathing through her mouth. She
looks like a goldfish out of water.

I don't really think she is sleeping. She just don't have the energy to move.

I love her so much.

When I was down with appendicitis, she visited me everyday. I was at
sigh then. She seemed to be the only person next to me although I know
many others came.

I remembered one question that she asked me and one which I did not
answer. She asked me if it was the other way around would I do the
same for her. I remembered not answering as I thought it was a silly
question. A no brainer. Of course I will be around. That's what I
thought then.

I was hardly around. When she would be in my ward the moment I woke
up, I would only be in hers the moment I woke up. And when she would
leave when I fell asleep, I would leave after I had my dinner. Yup
that's me. Stupid me.

But this is not about me. I don't really know as to how long Mak will
be around. I am afraid.

Slim.

My mother

A lot of people has been asking me about my mother. I really don't know how to answer them. I am really thankful that such well meaning questions are asked but it's painful to answer them. I mean, hey, she is dying. How much better can she be? She is getting worse and it is painful.

Anyway, I wrote almost daily updates on my blog.

Qathirah.blogspot.com

And to you guys, thank you for reminding me that I am not alone. Liverpool fans or not.

Slim.

Mouth

My mother seems to be unable to breathe using her nose. A chest x ray has been taken but the results are not out yet.

This is the third time I am at nuh in less than 24 hrs. It is tiring, but its not about me now is it?

It seems that Mak has difficulty in swallowing. As such her food and water tend to end up in her lungs.

She had gone for a dialysis just now. Dad and keling has left for home but dad is just a matter of a phone call away.

Su is with me. I love her so much.

Keling said that Mak won't last until
Cina solemnization ceremony. I think that's a bit cruel but this is not about her too.

Nurse suggested that there will be at least one of us to accompany Mak tonight. Does that sound omen like? Who cares? It's not about her too.

It's about Mak and Allah.

Slim.

Bed

At my mom's bedside now. I have just applied tiger balm on her stomach. She seemed to have labored breathing. I have already given her two doses of her salbutamol spray.

I came back to visit her at about 2 in the morning just now. She has been asking for dad every waking hour. Dad came too. After we gave her some milk, she fell asleep. That when we left and we has sahur at simpang bedok.

She is still asking for dad and I would like to think that dad is on the way. She is having difficulty breathing again.
Slim.

Blood transfusion

Update

I have given consent for mom to be infuse with a pint of blood. Her hemoglobin level is low. 

She may develop a fever and allergies. The cancer doctor knows about this. 

The radio therapist will come tomorrow morning to assess if she needs further scan. 

Slim. 

Medication for mom's asthma has been given thus can use contrast now. If confirm cancer has spread to the brain, doc may want to proceed with radiotherapy. 50% chances of controlling the spread.

Cancer spreading to the brain could be the reason for low bp, change in behaviour.

Slim.

Asthma

Medication for mom's asthma has been given thus can use contrast now. If confirm cancer has spread to the brain, doc may want to proceed with radiotherapy. 50% chances of controlling the spread.

Slim.

Scan

Brain scan without the use of asthma very suggestive that cancer has spread to the brain. Doc will discuss with radiotherapy to confirm. If radiotherapist cannot confirm a second scan will be done, this time with the use of contrast. Reason for not using contrast in the first scan is mom's asthma.

Slim.

Doc just called.

Doc just called. Successful dialysis yesterday for 3 1/2 hrs. Bp stable. Mak is awake, able to talk

Slim.

Doc

Had a very intense discussion with the ward doctor. She said only the renal doc can make the decision. We let loose our emotions. We were told that my mom's bp needed to be more than 100. But now that it had reached 100, we were told to wait for an hour. More than an hour has passed but nothing is done.

Finally she said that the renal has been informed and will be here shortly.

Slim.

Chemotherapy

Mak called. She just had chemotherapy. She is feeling vey weak. I am heading there now.
Slim.