Writing
I read somewhere, or maybe I heard somewhere that even if one can write, it does not make one a writer. Implying that one can hardly be called a writer even when one writes. Anyway, I choose to write, even though this will not make me turn out to be a good writer, it is fine, that is not my intention anyway.
Maybe I am a closet writer, you know, the kind that wished that he writes, but am too embarrassed for the rest of the world to see? But after reading about Benjamin Franklin and how prolific a writer he was, I am inspired.
10 going on 40
You know when you are getting old is when you cannot remember what you did for your only son's last birthday. I always thought that anything to do with Adam is worth remembering. But I cannot remember what we did for his last birthday. That is, until I checked my Facebook pictures which provided more than an inkling of what transpired that day. Nevertheless, lets not write about the distant past, rather lets talk about the not too distant past and what it holds for the future.
Future
Ah, who am I to talk about the future. Based on statistics alone, I am more than halfway through before I get to kick the bucket. But Adam, well he has a long way to go. Why should he not. He is only ten. I cannot remember vividly what it was like when I was ten, but I know he has it better. His birthday cake alone is better that one I will ever going to get, and perhaps a million other people too. He can choose who he wants to be, whenever he wants that to happen. Its the decisions that he has to make along the way that worries me. I worry because, I will never be there for him all the time. I worry because, people and places surrounding changes ever so often. I worry that I cannot keep up. In fact, I cannot keep up with all of my cousins' names. But never a worrier shall I be.
40 and getting wiser
I may be getting older, but there is an upside towards getting older. One gets wiser. True, this is subjective and the young seldom sees the errors of their ways. I know I am getting wiser, as I keep saying good stuffs to Adam. Stuffs, that even he appreciates. Stuffs that I cannot possibly make up on my own if not for the fact that I am wiser more so this moment then the moment that has just passed. For instance, we has a dad to son as to what being gay is about and more importantly, how not to judge is as important as being able to tell the difference between what is wrong and right. That and what to when somebody uses a bicycle lock to lock your gates so that you cannot get into your house.
That really steam me up. I will write about that in another post.
Midnight
If you come to think about it, everybody is getting wiser. Its a matter of whether you are getting enough of "wise". Maybe it will be too little too late. Maybe it will be sufficient but I have come to accept it. I have come to accept the fact being wise and being wiser are two different things. I settled for just being wise, that is already hard enough. When midnight comes, it is the start of a new day and if becoming wiser has a correlations to being forgetfulness, I want to remember that I was there during your birthday, I took the pictures and I witnessed the joyous face of yours when you opened up your presents in the presence of those that matters. I love you, and I hope I don't forget that. I will try to be wiser for you but in the meantime, try not to wise up too fast.
Love you, abah.
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